i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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