That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
