Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
