Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
