does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
