Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
