just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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