He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
