I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You're a waste of cheezeits
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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