what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
that may or may not have been my penis.
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