playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
