so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We had sex on a dog bed..
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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