Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
im having a threesome with these popsicles
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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