There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
then he tried to convert me to islam
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
