I don't think brook has ever known best
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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