I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
