i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Randomize
