sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize