in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
