where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
