I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
