Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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