Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Less talking, more tequila
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
