Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
