you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
