Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
