Im at strip club and am horny
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
