whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize