he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
