I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
