is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
