you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
