it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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