dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
