Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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