I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
