I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
