I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
