i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize