Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
