Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
