Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize