remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
