Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I touched a dick in church today
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
