I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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