You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
please don't ironically join a cult
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