yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
