Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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