woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
3pm strippers are depressing
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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