I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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