Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
