Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
