i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
True strength comes from lack of pants
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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