Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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