woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
