3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
