I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
BRING THE BAGELS
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
