I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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