med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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