Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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