that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
