I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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