Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
